I just scarfed a pizza from Dominoes. The thing about schizophrenia is sometimes you just don’t care. I don’t know if this falls under self esteem, which I know mine is rather poor. I’ve soothed myself with food so much I’m sixty pounds over weight. In my head I refer to myself as my being, which my voices mock because of my weight referring to me as my boeing. Har har. Someone once told me that voices are natural. Kinda how the brain works, but when you admit to this they become hallucinations. Mine are round the clock non stop. One time when I was close to sleep I caught them talking to one another, I have two, and they said “Is he asleep.” Mostly they just mock me kinda a running comedy commentary. Occasionally I present a flank for them to attack like my self esteem and they are merciless. For someone with so many problems I sure aspire pretty high. I’ve already read enough history to be a phd due to the years of negative symptoms and I’m just beginning on my scientific curriculum. I also plan to lose weight eat healthily have friends. I’m shooting for normal. Which is a long step for someone who once spent eight months in a state hospital. Well that was good food.